I just knew it that my extended list of 2017 resolutions which include, inter alia, frequent blogging is flushing straightly down the drain. I just had that feeling guys. Had it even before I started jotting down the resolutions itself and now I am forever thanking heavens for not officiating the blog with “Azam 2017 Saya” blog post. God knows when is that going to happen.
Anyway it’s almost March and I don’t foresee any benefit of us ranting about azams any longer. Let’s just get down to business wherein today I intended to share about my own need to be more courageous even when the world is turning upside down.
Suddenly my life starts running on a routinely basis. Waking up to Fajr prayer, a simple breakfast I occasionally Instagram if it looks appealing enough, a whole day in the office and when I return home it is always, always night time. I get to do top an hour TV moment if the sight of me drooling in kaftan does not come first or most of the time, substitute that precious TV moment to extended working hours when my last ‘romantic’ Whatsapp message is from my superior reminding me of the drafting I need to submit. Ugh. I haven’t even seen my doing-so-well buddies Caroline and Max for two seasons straight I am legitimately lame!
The process repeats for five days before weekend finally comes. That’s when I feel like I am living my life, and all sorts of ‘creative business ideas’ bombarded at once. Seriously the tiresome gets growing, my conversation with the colleagues is fast becoming “do we really wanna do lawyering?”
Until this one day I got fetched by one Uber driver who was quite talkative for an evening session. Not that I am a critical anti-soc freak but cmon guys, the least appealing topic we can be bothered with after a looooong dreadful day in the office is the work topic! But the lady kept going.
“Kerja lawyer ke akak?” obvious question perceivable from all-monochrome attire. Smart judgment.
“Hmm” because explaining the concept of pupillage is tiring.
“Bestnya akak lawyer. Mesti belajar tinggi kan? Belajar susah, kerja susah tak semua orang boleh buat”
“Biasa biasa je…”
She added; “Kat KL ni kita tak boleh malas je kan kak, kalau malas memang hidup kita tak ada kemajuan”
I swear I double-checked on the lady in the event she happened to be a Gypsy as she read my mind so tepat one!
Nope she was not a Gypsy. No resemblances to a cloaked fortune teller or dancer like Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame… but her words were dope! Took few nano seconds to register in my brain though. It got me thinking that I prayed hard for a quarter century for Allah SWT to put me in the position I am today. I braced the so-called tough law school for four years. I believed in the impossible when others told me to back down. I elicited the memory of jotting down a huge ass bio in my note book since first year of uni claiming I am the ‘future employer of *insert my current firm*’ so people don’t mess up with me (Yes I was and still kiasu about life). And suddenly I wanna give in to a temporary tiresome? I am not even bothered with the workloads of my superior yet here I am sighing about how abysmal my works are? Hello!
My momentarily pang of realization reminded me that just like the rest of the journey braced by others, do believe that the beginning is always the hardest. Yet no one promises it is getting any easier but boy it surely gonna be worth it! Gratitude is what will bring us far in life. When you and I, we are upset and drenched down for not achieving a desirable result, let’s us both look back at our past and think about all we have done to be in the position we are in. Courage over fears, girlfriends! More courage is what I am owing to my own self for this year 2017!
At the peak of such mountainous enthusiasm, I reached home from a considerably short Uber ride. I owe the suspiciously-Gypsy Uber lady a tip but since I am saving even the tiniest pennies now, I rated her five-star at the end of the ride. Can also right? They need the ratings right? Right? #cheapskategamestrong #siskedekut