Post Debate: Deserving to be Emotional

Honestly my clinginess towards uni debate cannot be any more obvious. In fact, my debate stories conquered a huge portion of this blog’s population, which urmm in some ways it might bore you, I am truly sorry for that but I cannot help! Geee. And warn ya, this one is nothing different 😛

Well, I just got back from The Great Gender Debate held in UPM. Technically this was my forth time debating on Gender’s stage (I ENTERED UM SINCE MY PASUM DAYS SO JUDGE ME NOT HAHAHAHA) and the desire to be crowned a champ is too damn high! Seriously my expectation this time around cannot be any higher! Recalling my three previous journeys in Gender, the first edition I was the Naib Johan, second edition was a semi-finalist, third edition which was last year, Adam and I were the second runner-up. Quite a bouncy journey but rather a consistent one compared to other series, no? Then, what about this time around?

Sadly, a quarter-finalist we were. The lowest achievement of all four. God knows how heart-broken I am right now, especially when I recalled how me and Adam aced the prelim rounds, been rated 1st ranking like it’s a nobody’s business but all of sudden Allah withdrew away our glory in the quarter finale, within a split second! *cluck cluck* Like, no Kia, no Adam, sit down and watch others do the debate. Sigh.

The struggles for Debat Merdeka and Gender me realize how much I love debating. How it has brought me to another level of being a more chock-full person, how it has taught me to be shit serious in getting whatever in life, how it has taught me to swallow my pride when I am rolling the downside of the ball. All those things.

There are times when I don’t feel like debating anymore, maybe it’s time for me to figure out some other fields I might get attached to, and I question whether or not the sacrifices I made worth the wait. It’s time-consuming (especially during tournaments when my presence in class will be missed lol) and can really tear me apart when I did not achieve what I want to achieve, like I have to question sampai bila I nak kena tunggu ni?

Sobs. Off with the sappy part. But, Allah is the Most Glorious and the Most Merciful. We didn’t make it to up to the final stage, but He substituted the blues with something else, something I’d never expected for Gender before. I was crowned “Pendebat Ketiga Terbaik Keseluruhan”, yeaaayy?


Alhamdulillah. But guess what they gave me?


Seriously, a plain glass with Gender Debate’s logo on it, leaving me puzzled as to whether I should display this ‘pride’ on my desk or ending up making it a tray for my bracelets? And hello, not even a word on the glass stating why am I receiving this? Sooo can I self-proclaimed I am the champ with this little glass thingy? Or give it to Nek Tok, she would love a decorative souvenir.

Haha you can never satisfy a debater. Complaints, complaints je!

In the end, all these concluded a rigid cloud of assurance within myself, I don’t wanna quit yet. I cannot quit yet. Not until my ultimate mission is accomplished.

Dare me.


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