Summer holiday means to forget all those yucky school stuffs including exams if you have recently seated for one. Thing is, mine wasn’t so recent that it is fair for me to say that I’ve already forgotten last semester’s exams that I had. Sadly, no matter how far astray my remembrance for the exams gone, it never really forgets me. Prove is, the exams’ result reached my house yesterday. Lucky for me that my parents weren’t home (big sigh) so I quickly stroked the slip into one of my certificates’ folders. I didn’t mean to hide the bloodcurdling thing inside there permanently but for the time being, it is safer to be there! Anyhoo my parents already knew about the result through the varsity’s portal earlier so this written one is kinda to officially certify the earlier, no biggie. Yeay.
Well anyway, examining through the result, to be honest this time I’m kinda disappointed with myself. I’m still unable to attain a chance being the first Malay in my faculty to be in the Dean’s list (that hard you know) eventhough the CGPA is well-maintained to have a 3 initial. Before sitting for the exams, I had a high expectation to score (except for Family Law) because the carry marks throughout the semester cooperated me well. But upon seating for the finals, my targets changed parallel to my mind and I only managed to keep praying! For example, Torts Law which I entered the exam hall with 33.5/40 carry marks but all of sudden the questions ditched me so well! And having the brilliant lawyer Azzairi around the corner just got the thing worsen. I asked for his opinion regarding my answers for Torts and immediately after that he said straightly into my face with no guilt that I was WRONG! Can you imagine that?
Anyway, to reminisce all those bad memories will only tear my heart deeper, so I better reflect back on the mistakes I did. I know how every now and then, I have a moment when my whole entire life stretches out ahead of me like a forked road, and even as I choose one gritty path I’ve got my eyes on the other whole entire time, certainly I can’t run from making a mistake. So, I went through my Instagram account last night’s and figured out how playful I was during the finals and comparing them to the previous, previous semester’s finals which I barely had time to share a picture (not even a Starbucks’ venti cup you see!). Plus, I even had the time to go to a beach holiday during my study week oh my god how terrible I was! Hence the foods, places and people pictures explain everything clearly so thanks Instagram for being a late-reminder but at least it makes me realized on where my mistakes lie *face slap*. Reminder: DO NOT BE THAT OVER-CONFIDENT AND JOYOUS NEITHER DURING STUDY NOR EXAM WEEKS! (checked).
I’m seriously not in favor to remind myself regarding this any longer but it’s a fact I have to swallow and digest well for my own aide-mémoire in surviving the remaining years in law school. Well, it’s like when you get down to something, though, explaining what you believe isn’t all that easy. If you say that you believe something to be true, you might mean one of the two things- that you’re still weighing the alternatives, or that you accept it as a fact. I don’t logically see how one single condition can have contradictory definitions, but emotionally, I completely understand. Because there are times I think what I am doing is right, there are other times I second-guess myself every step of my way.
Above all, I’m a human,too. No?