Grade ‘A’ Heart. Recruit

Hey! It has been a long time since this blog has been updated, am I right?So, these few days, the questions that kept stereo-playing in my sane mind were- “Are you wrenching your heart because you can’t let go of the past?” OR “Are you feeling blessed because you’ve left your wretchedness behind?”

Sorry lah. Actually I was quite to say…undergoing this kinda lag chapter in my life, and I’m gaining all my might to get outta the shield as soon as possible. But yes, when it comes to the heart, it’s always not that effortless, even the stopwatch would stop counting by itself. I’m not a superwoman, who ought to deal with every single monster trying to destroy her serenity. I’m not a heroin, who ought to be sturdy for most of the time and stands a lofty status in every apple’s eyes. Yet, I’m not a primadona who ought to be a queen bee, merrily uttering – ‘Ohmagaad! I’m bored being showered with this A honey, now get me the B one!” But as it goes with Mariah Carey’s super hit, Hero, it says, “and you finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you”. Yes, a hero lies in beneath my soul, sealed with inexpressible immortal spirit.

I never leave what I used to have.

I never forget what I used to remember.

I never regret what I used to love.

I never sigh over what I used to do.

In all, I never desire to loose what I used to grab. For often I dream of stealing back my memoir, and that’s how the often caused me to blubber. Tears are girl’s bestfriend, I know.

Frustration and annoyed outburst, confusion and teariness, self-doubt and depression, guilt and self-loathing, just named any other thesaurus you may possibly hit upon, so does they match what I’m faithfully feeling now.

Till then, choosing the first question would crown me a halo!

I love my Mira Ramlee

I love my Qee Hanis Ismail

I love my Sharks Aziz

I love my Naily Zamri

I love my Serra Hasrizal

And this…is my right ventricle. Simply can’t live w/out her.My Tayn Fatihah Rusli

Because for sometimes, I think I’m meant for girls. That’s why I’ve my 8 years experience being in GIRLS SCHOOLS.


Miss Kiasatina Othman


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